PSL: For Charles

[fucking_gentleman]

It had taken a week to stabilise Harry to the point that he could under go more surgery, to build in the frame work and connections for his new eye. He was fairly out of it for another week after that, between painkillers and recovery.

It was a few days after that that, by the time Charles came down, Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed, a wheelchair sitting nearby and Harry rather insistently trying to get his nurse to let him wear the suit he wanted, rather than the far more relaxed clothing she was insisting on.

"Charles! Help me, Eggsy's on mission or I'd requisition him. I'm not being unreasonable, I'm not even asking for a three piece suit, just being allowed to dress in a manner that I find more comfortable."

Comments

[fucking_gentleman]

It took a little coordination, letting Charles take his weight while getting trousers up and settled. He could at least manage doing them up and sliding the suspenders on just fine.

It was ridiculously tiring, just getting dressed. But worth it. "Thank you."

[grailknight]

Charles smiled broadly at Harry and then kissed him gently. It felt like the right thing to do in that instance. He was tremendously happy.for Harry at that moment, and grateful for him.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry blinked. He hadn't expected it, and yet he had still tipped his face up into it, subconsciously reading Charles' body language.

The dumb part of him wanted to say 'you kissed me' but they both knew that and he tried to refrain from too many stupid comments a day. So instead, he just nodded slightly and smiled back, crooked with the slight paralysis of his face.

[grailknight]

"I probably shouldn't have done that, so I apologise. I couldn't help myself." Harry and his bloody kissable mouth.

[fucking_gentleman]

"Are you actually sorry, though? Because if you're not, there's very little point apologising."

[grailknight]

"No, I'm not actually sorry." He chuckled.

[fucking_gentleman]

"Then don't apologise, it's insincere." He gestured for his jacket. "Though I am curious about why."

[grailknight]

Charles helped Harry with the jacket. "Because I feel like I might be overstepping some boundaries."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Well... probably. You're a widower. I'm probably your oldest friend still alive." But... it had been a lot of months since James' death. Just Harry had missed a lot of them, being in a coma.

Charles hadn't even really begun to deal with James' death. That was a fact.

[grailknight]

He nodded. "After Robert passed away, you are." Morton, Roxy's father. "I would rather be with someone who knows me already than start something new."

[fucking_gentleman]

Hang on- "I thought we were just discussing you kissing me not- Don't do this, Charles. you're emotionally vulnerable and not even slightly recovered from losing your husband." Harry wouldn't use anything cheesy like 'soul mate', but Charles and James had fitted together better than most could ever hope.

"And then we add the trauma of my apparent death and serious injury on top of that..."

He loved Charles. Which was why he wouldn't let him do this to himself or their friendship. Not while he was this fragile.

[grailknight]

"Well I am not going to kiss just anyone." He sighed. "Yes, I am. I am also lonely and I don't trust easily." He had given much more thought to this than he had been letting on.

"I lost everyone I love in one form or another."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Charles, while I'm sure it's unintentional, you have basically just said 'I am alone and you're all that's left', which is hardly a flattering or convincing argument." He sighed.

"You still can't even face the home you shared with him. You're not available for a relationship. You're still in one."

[grailknight]

"Doesn't make it any less true." Charles frowned. "I don't want to go back there. It hurts too much. How does that mean that I am still in one?"

[fucking_gentleman]

"Because you're still involved with James. You're still neck deep in grief and avoiding that fact. With being here, helping me. With work. Did you go and collect your clothes yourself, or did you ask Roxy to help you out by bringing you some things?" Harry tilted his head. "You're making me sound like a pity choice. For both of us."

Harsh. Maybe cruel. But Harry knew Charles was making a bad decision fuelled by his grief and Harry would've skinned anyone who tried to take advantage of his friend in this condition.

[grailknight]

"How can I be involved with someone when they aren't even here to be involved with?" He didn't have time to deal with his grief. "Yes Roxy helped me." He sighed and shook his head. "No, Harry. You are not a pity choice--just the logical one."

[fucking_gentleman]

"You're being obtuse." Harry jabbed with a finger. "Emotionally, you're still involved with James. Until you actually grieve and move on, you're not- your body might be here, but your heart is still back in that house, waiting for James to come home."

[grailknight]

Charles brought his lips to a thin line.

"I spent twenty years with him, Harry. We were partners in every sense of the word. How can I move on?"

[fucking_gentleman]

"I don't know." The longest relationship in his life was a dog that he, in many ways, never wanted to begin with. "I don't have an answer for how. I imagine time is involved." He beckoned Charles closer, to help him get into the wheelchair.

"I just know you are far from having actually done it. And until you have moved on... I will be your friend, as I always have been. And friends make sure friends don't make terrible relationship decisions. All right?"

[grailknight]

"The odds were never in our favour," he admitted softly. "I just had hoped we would have gotten more time together." He was still relatively a young man. He began to add Harry to the wheelchair.

"Yes, I understand. Right now, I would be showing you a diservice."

[fucking_gentleman]

It would be a disservice to both of them, but if he'd do for Harry–if not himself–then that would be enough. He didn't speak until he was safely seated, getting settled and then looking up.

"I wish you'd had more time. But if wishes were horses, we'd have solved world hunger."

[grailknight]

He chuckled. "I don't see how that would even work. So off to the bakery?"

[fucking_gentleman]

"Yes, thank you." He snagged his glasses from the dressing table, tucking them in his pocket. He couldn't wear them, not really, not until the bandages were all gone, but he felt better with them.

[grailknight]

"You are a good friend, Harry. I am grateful that you stuck with me throughout the years."

[fucking_gentleman]

"You're welcome. Now, help me escape from this place before I go mad from staring at the same four walls every day." He reached to pat Charles' hand. "Mush, mush, there's a good fellow?"