PSL

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry is actually enjoying the sunshine by the Thames.

Well, truthfully, there's no real sunshine and no one enjoys the Thames, but he's determined to not be in the office, so here he is, sitting in the window of his favourite bakery and sipping at his coffee.

He's people watching, which was always a hobby of his, but now has become a survival mechanism to fend of do gooders and 'helpful' people who see the twisted scar along his temple, the streak of silver it put into his hair, the patch tucked underneath his glasses and they make assumptions.

And his impulse control isn't quite what it was, which means occasionally he's been known to react to a slow and loud "Can I help you?" with a leg trip and toe of his shoe into their ribs.

By accident, of course.

But now, he's mostly curious about the fellow who seems to be somewhat determinedly heading to the river's edge.

Comments

[fucking_gentleman]

You said it stops you throwing yourself off bridges. But your attempt to climb over the railing at the cafe didn't match someone with depression. It was a terrible plan for suicide. I thought it was some grand gesture at first except you seemed genuinely confused at first and then... resigned."

He refilled his teacup.

[residu]

"...Thanks? I think." Jihwan can't help leaning back in his chair, actually somewhat blown away that someone actually seems to understand so fast. He can't remember the last time anyone who'd pulled him out of that state had assumed correctly, or even noticed that much.

"Do you know someone with it, or something...?"

[fucking_gentleman]

"No. I simply can recognise the symptoms." He's very well read and it's always been a possibility, however remote. "Though I would again wonder why you don't avoid places with large bodies of water to trigger your condition."

[residu]

"Coming to London wasn't my first choice, don't worry." He's smarter than that. It was just something that couldn't be helped at the moment. "My parents' work is out here right now, so...so'm I."

[fucking_gentleman]

"... that seems... impractical."

A kind way to put it. Had it been Eggsy affected like that, he would've moved hell or high water (pardon the pun) to make sure he was somewhere safe.

[residu]

It is kind, and Jihwan offers a nod of acknowledgement as a sigh breaks past his lips. "...I hadn't had a flashback in a real long time. Figured if I stayed away from the water I could manage for the little while we're here."

But obviously that hadn't worked exactly as planned. "It was a stupid idea."

[fucking_gentleman]

"But London is built around the Thames."

Literally. London was here because of the Thames river. It split the city in half and in the past, had provided the trade that made the city thrive and grow.

[residu]

"I know--I said it was stupid okay??"

[fucking_gentleman]

"I'm not blaming you. I am simply surprised that your parents made that decision."

[residu]

"I told them it was fine..." Insisted on it actually, because he was tired of being a burden and restricting where they could and couldn't go or work.

[fucking_gentleman]

"You should consider the tube. Underground travel is very effective, even in London."

[residu]

"I know... I mean, usually I do when I need to, I just..." He flounders a little, string down his glass of water uncomfortably. "I got caught up. A bit."

[fucking_gentleman]

He nods. He does understand forgetting limitations and then stumbling head first into them with no safety net.

[residu]

"It sucks..." Jihwan sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I can't even think about it, or remember, or anything. If I do..." Bridge. Beach. Bathtub. Pool.

[fucking_gentleman]

"I know little about treatment for your condition. I'll so some reading when I go back to the office, but it always struck me as an horrific condition."

[residu]

"Huh?? No, you don't have to do that..." He looks up, surprised. "I didn't mean to make you...uhh. Worry? I mean--it's better than being eaten alive and all."

[fucking_gentleman]

"I've never had reason to before, but I pride myself on learning new things when the chance arises." He sips his tea and considers it. "Well, yes, but a great many things are better than 'eaten alive' and still singularly unpleasant."

[residu]

"I guess...." He still winds up rubbing the back of his neck. "I can't really look too much into it without...you know. So." How does one people. "I guess what I mean is I'm just glad to be alive."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Quite understandable. And that gratitude is perfectly valid alongside frustration for the limitation of your condition.

"I'm glad to be alive but I still constantly lose my temper over the limits it's inflicted on me."

[residu]

"Yeah but your thing is like....I mean, it's something you can't help right? You were injured. Mine's all...in my head." In other words, he feels crazy sometimes. Hence the psychiatrists and numerous doctor visits, because really, the world doesn't really know what to make of it either.

[fucking_gentleman]

"So is schizophrenia, or anxiety. It doesn't make them any less real. My condition is simply input from my body being interpreted in my brain. Everything we are and experience is just in our heads."

[residu]

"Yeah, but the difference is you don't try to drown yourself without realizing it."

[fucking_gentleman]

"No, but I do have seizures, during which I have about the same amount of voluntary control."

[residu]

"...They bad?"

[fucking_gentleman]

"I have no idea, I rarely remember them. They're certainly enough to panic Emrys and Eggsy."