Eggsy went silent, shifting only enough to easily look up at Harry. For maybe one of the few times in his life, he stayed so silent, so still. Listening, knowing that Harry had him pegged. Had him on things he never admitted, even to himself.
Those last words, whispered in his ear, Harry so close and talking about Eggsy's feelings, and desires and he was two seconds from bolting because he didn't know how to handle this. He had no fucking idea. All he had going for him was honesty.
"Not bad," he whispered. "Let..." He swallowed hard. "Let me fill in the gaps. My dad died when I was four. You broke the news to me and my mum. The bastard she fancies is an abusive fucker and I've handled everything I had to," he said, his voice still such a soft whisper. Not by choice but his throat was so tight he couldn't raise his voice.
"I don't do enough. I failed, Harry. I flunked out as your choice, proving them all right that a kid like me didn't belong here, and I still fight every day to prove I do." Even if to himself. "So I failed and I nicked your boss' car. You didn't live to learn he was working with the fucker that shot you," he said, staring up at Harry, his eyes bright.
"I'm not one of them and I figure they think about that all the time, even though they're the best people in my life. As for you? You never ever gave any interest. Not like that and the last things you said to me..." He shook his head. There had been so much but all he held to was disappointment in him.
"And I do want forgiveness, and I want you to remember so I don't set myself up because..."
He stopped then, shaking his head, knowing he was going to start fucking crying if he didn't shut up.
"So yeah, I'm takin' advantage of you because you don't remember all the bad stuff, just seein' the good."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 06:01 am (UTC)Those last words, whispered in his ear, Harry so close and talking about Eggsy's feelings, and desires and he was two seconds from bolting because he didn't know how to handle this. He had no fucking idea. All he had going for him was honesty.
"Not bad," he whispered. "Let..." He swallowed hard. "Let me fill in the gaps. My dad died when I was four. You broke the news to me and my mum. The bastard she fancies is an abusive fucker and I've handled everything I had to," he said, his voice still such a soft whisper. Not by choice but his throat was so tight he couldn't raise his voice.
"I don't do enough. I failed, Harry. I flunked out as your choice, proving them all right that a kid like me didn't belong here, and I still fight every day to prove I do." Even if to himself. "So I failed and I nicked your boss' car. You didn't live to learn he was working with the fucker that shot you," he said, staring up at Harry, his eyes bright.
"I'm not one of them and I figure they think about that all the time, even though they're the best people in my life. As for you? You never ever gave any interest. Not like that and the last things you said to me..." He shook his head. There had been so much but all he held to was disappointment in him.
"And I do want forgiveness, and I want you to remember so I don't set myself up because..."
He stopped then, shaking his head, knowing he was going to start fucking crying if he didn't shut up.
"So yeah, I'm takin' advantage of you because you don't remember all the bad stuff, just seein' the good."