For prettyballsy

[fucking_gentleman]

The alarm was sounded at eleven in the morning, the day after Eggsy visited.

The alarms should have gone off before then, but Harry had hacked the machines, pulling and stripping wires and looping the feedback back into itself so there was no sign that he was no longer connected.

He had borrowed clothes by picking his way through the hospital, acquiring one item after another, cards and pass codes and by the time he left, he was dressed and had loose cash, a pilfered phone from a wanker who refused to turn it off and said wanker's credit card, which he used to withdraw the maximum he could and then tossed.

With more CCTV than any other city in the world, he then vanished off the grid.

By the time Eggsy was brought in by Merlin at quarter past midday, Merlin was waiting for another ping from a new internet cafe, the various footage of Harry's escape running behind him, being analysed by technicians for any hints.

"He realised he'd been made and vanished from the last internet cafe in under two minutes. He was off the cameras again within five. You're being authorised to locate and bring in Galahad, before he becomes a target or, worse, gives himself a stroke."

Comments

[fucking_gentleman]

"No. But Harry is excellent at masking. It's what makes him an exceptional spy. No one sees anything unless he lets them."

Merlin had known Harry most of their adults lives and he still didn't always know what was going on in his head.

"I don't expect ye to regret it. I said. I was wrong."

"Mark the date on the calendar," Harry mumbled. "I wanna remember this."

"Go back to sleep, Hart. Or I'll donate your butterfly collection to the natural history museum."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy wondered if that would mean Harry would regret things once he knew he'd let his guard down. Damn but he hated that idea.

"And he didn't want me to see this," he said, shrugging one shoulder with the slightly movement, not wanting to disrupt Harry. Even as he spoke.

"I'll get the tape for you," he murmured softly, stroking Harry's arm once more, trying to soothe him once more.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry made a grumbling sound and curled up more, inadvertently hugging Merlin with his legs while settling his head more on Eggsy.

"No. Probably not. But you have and it's there now." He stood up again, running a hand over Harry's hip when he stirred. It might have seemed rather intimate, but they'd spent far too much time with each other to really care anymore.

"His reluctance probably has to do with your father's death. He never stopped blaming himself for Lee dying. Taking him away from your mother and you. And your hero worship of him... I would've had his balls if he'd tried it then."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy watched Merlin, curious and not sure what all to think. He was physically uncomfortable and he would stay there as long as he had to, just to keep Harry close to him.

"He didn't do shit to take anything away from me," he said, knowing that it was likely that Merlin agreed, but that didn't mean Harry did.

"And what's changed now?" Because he needed to know if he was going to be dealing with Merlin if Harry continued to feel the same way even with his memories.

[fucking_gentleman]

"... Harry has frontal lobe damage in his brain. It might lessen, it might not, but his impulse control is limited right now. He thinks, he wants, he does. He also doesn't have the inhibitions that might stop him, like shame of embarrassment."

It wasn't affecting what he felt. Simply how he acted on those feelings.

[prettyballsy]

"What? You're saying he thought before I would turn him down?" He snorted, voice raising slightly because even he knew that he'd acted like a damn fool around Harry and he liked to believe he never did that. Not ever.

"I don't want him doin' anything he'll be upset about. Not with me. All I can do." He'd failed Harry once. He wouldn't again.

[fucking_gentleman]

"No. I'm saying that whatever his reasons for showing nothing, he's not worried about that anymore."

Merlin headed for the door. As much as he wanted to stay, there was too much to be done. "Harry's never had a relationship, not really. And he's very aware that he's old enough to be your father and then some. I have work to get back to."

[prettyballsy]

"Right until he gets his head screwed on right," he muttered, fearing that reality.

His gaze followed Merlin, making a face. "Yeah, you do that. I'm going to be a pillow. I'm making that my assignment for now," he said, meaning it.

He knew Merlin was right, but it didn't mean much to Eggsy. He liked Harry. That's all that mattered to him. Even though he hadn't been in a relationship either, though he wondered why that was for Harry but he didn't ask.

[fucking_gentleman]

"Things are quiet right now. You can stay."

It was all Merlin was giving him. Them.

He headed out again. Harry sighed softly, nuzzling into Eggsy's solar plexus.

[prettyballsy]

He smirked at that you can stay. Smiling when Harry snuggled in, considering what Merlin had said.

"When you get you memories back, first thing I'm going to ask is how you haven't dated. Handsome, charming, deadly bloke like you?"

Except he could guess. This was his life, just as it was becoming for Eggsy.

[fucking_gentleman]

Because Harry let no one in. Harry was been in Kingsman for decades and didn't have the time and space for anything except Kingsman in his life. Not a partner who might ask questions or be a weakness.

Harry didn't say any of that, of course. He pushed his face into Eggsy more, shielding his eye from the little light there was and sleeping on for a while. The medication was working to unknot his migraine and stop him waking up from the nausea.

[prettyballsy]

Even in shape as he was, Eggsy was going to pay for this later, but knowing that didn't make him move. Instead staying there, smiling when JB leapt up into the chair and just kept stroking Harry's shoulder, along his back, keeping him close.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry slept a couple of hours again before stirring awake with a soft sigh and a flex of his hand over Eggsy's stomach.

"Eggsy?" He looked up blearily. "What-?"

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy sighed, shifting and loosening his arms slightly. "Shhh, it's okay. You were just sleeping off your headache," he murmured softly. "How're you feeling?"

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry pulled Eggsy more onto the bed and rested his head up on his shoulder again. It wasn't a good fit, Harry was too tall and the bed not made for two grown men, but determination went a long way.

"Blurred on the edges. Probably the medication."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy wriggled, settling in again as he could. It didn't matter if it wasn't perfect, just so long as he had Harry there and comfortable.

"So rest. I'm not goin' anywhere."

[fucking_gentleman]

"I have rested. I'm sick of resting. I want to do something useful. Something that isn't lying in bed and getting exhausted showering. I want to shoot something. I want to-"

He stopped, sitting up slowly, not looking at anything, instead visibly remembering something.

"I didn't see the grenade. I didn't realise he had a grenade."

[prettyballsy]

"I can check with Merlin, see if we can..."

He had been about to suggest some time on the range, but then Harry was talking about something. He let him go, shifting with a small wince as his hip protested moving that way.

"Who had a grenade, Harry?" Because knowing your dad died and how was not the same thing.

[fucking_gentleman]

"The target. He had a grenade and I missed it. He shouldn't have thrown me out of the way, shouldn't have smothered the blast for the rest of us."

He looked at Eggsy, and he saw the right person, didn't see his father. "I am so sorry. It was my fault. I missed it."

[prettyballsy]

"Harry what are you..."

And that was when it hit him. He went still, staring at the other man for a long moment.

"Don't do that. You didn't throw him on that grenade then, didcha? Don't you dare, Harry Hart. He wouldn't wantcha do and I don't either," he said, staring at him dead on, serious. "Shit happens, and he mighta died to, and then I wouldn't have either of you."

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry looked up, pushing down the emotions, but they were still there in his eye, as he remembered and relived the memory all over again.

"No. He did it himself, to save us. I always said he was more Kingsman material than any of us. James... took it hard. He didn't want to win the position of Lancelot like that."

[prettyballsy]

"Harry." He considered things then he shifted, not stopping himself as he reached out, cupping Harry's cheek. "He wouldn't want you to believe yourself at fault," he murmured. "And I don't think you need it, but you're forgiven. I'm the one to give that forgiveness, right? Well, I'm giving it."

[fucking_gentleman]

"It isn't belief. I should have seen the grenade."

No. He wasn't. Because he'd forgive Harry to shooting him in both legs. Michelle had screamed and cried and let their family fall to a man like Dean rather than call Harry for the favour he had promised her.

He looked up at Eggsy. "Thank you."

[prettyballsy]

"Even you make mistakes, Harry. It happens, and yeah people can die. How many years are you going to torture yourself for this with me sitting right here?" He asked, arcing a brow at him, meaning it.

"You don't got to thank me, Harry. I mean it. I'm not telling you that for you either. Not just for you. I'm sayin' it for me too."

He hadn't blamed Harry. Not like his mum had. Yet he had spent his entire life blaming a man he didn't know for being there that day, to the point of "using" him the day he'd gotten picked up. He couldn't know it would turn out like this.

[fucking_gentleman]

He didn't know if he'd beaten himself up for seventeen years over it. Had he? Or had he grieved, moved on and it was only so raw because he felt like he was remembering for the first time?

"James was always that little bit... reckless. Before that. After it. Why didn't he just wear his bloody glasses like he was meant to?"