For prettyballsy

[fucking_gentleman]

The alarm was sounded at eleven in the morning, the day after Eggsy visited.

The alarms should have gone off before then, but Harry had hacked the machines, pulling and stripping wires and looping the feedback back into itself so there was no sign that he was no longer connected.

He had borrowed clothes by picking his way through the hospital, acquiring one item after another, cards and pass codes and by the time he left, he was dressed and had loose cash, a pilfered phone from a wanker who refused to turn it off and said wanker's credit card, which he used to withdraw the maximum he could and then tossed.

With more CCTV than any other city in the world, he then vanished off the grid.

By the time Eggsy was brought in by Merlin at quarter past midday, Merlin was waiting for another ping from a new internet cafe, the various footage of Harry's escape running behind him, being analysed by technicians for any hints.

"He realised he'd been made and vanished from the last internet cafe in under two minutes. He was off the cameras again within five. You're being authorised to locate and bring in Galahad, before he becomes a target or, worse, gives himself a stroke."

Comments

[prettyballsy]

"Right until he gets his head screwed on right," he muttered, fearing that reality.

His gaze followed Merlin, making a face. "Yeah, you do that. I'm going to be a pillow. I'm making that my assignment for now," he said, meaning it.

He knew Merlin was right, but it didn't mean much to Eggsy. He liked Harry. That's all that mattered to him. Even though he hadn't been in a relationship either, though he wondered why that was for Harry but he didn't ask.

[fucking_gentleman]

"Things are quiet right now. You can stay."

It was all Merlin was giving him. Them.

He headed out again. Harry sighed softly, nuzzling into Eggsy's solar plexus.

[prettyballsy]

He smirked at that you can stay. Smiling when Harry snuggled in, considering what Merlin had said.

"When you get you memories back, first thing I'm going to ask is how you haven't dated. Handsome, charming, deadly bloke like you?"

Except he could guess. This was his life, just as it was becoming for Eggsy.

[fucking_gentleman]

Because Harry let no one in. Harry was been in Kingsman for decades and didn't have the time and space for anything except Kingsman in his life. Not a partner who might ask questions or be a weakness.

Harry didn't say any of that, of course. He pushed his face into Eggsy more, shielding his eye from the little light there was and sleeping on for a while. The medication was working to unknot his migraine and stop him waking up from the nausea.

[prettyballsy]

Even in shape as he was, Eggsy was going to pay for this later, but knowing that didn't make him move. Instead staying there, smiling when JB leapt up into the chair and just kept stroking Harry's shoulder, along his back, keeping him close.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry slept a couple of hours again before stirring awake with a soft sigh and a flex of his hand over Eggsy's stomach.

"Eggsy?" He looked up blearily. "What-?"

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy sighed, shifting and loosening his arms slightly. "Shhh, it's okay. You were just sleeping off your headache," he murmured softly. "How're you feeling?"

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry pulled Eggsy more onto the bed and rested his head up on his shoulder again. It wasn't a good fit, Harry was too tall and the bed not made for two grown men, but determination went a long way.

"Blurred on the edges. Probably the medication."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy wriggled, settling in again as he could. It didn't matter if it wasn't perfect, just so long as he had Harry there and comfortable.

"So rest. I'm not goin' anywhere."

[fucking_gentleman]

"I have rested. I'm sick of resting. I want to do something useful. Something that isn't lying in bed and getting exhausted showering. I want to shoot something. I want to-"

He stopped, sitting up slowly, not looking at anything, instead visibly remembering something.

"I didn't see the grenade. I didn't realise he had a grenade."

[prettyballsy]

"I can check with Merlin, see if we can..."

He had been about to suggest some time on the range, but then Harry was talking about something. He let him go, shifting with a small wince as his hip protested moving that way.

"Who had a grenade, Harry?" Because knowing your dad died and how was not the same thing.

[fucking_gentleman]

"The target. He had a grenade and I missed it. He shouldn't have thrown me out of the way, shouldn't have smothered the blast for the rest of us."

He looked at Eggsy, and he saw the right person, didn't see his father. "I am so sorry. It was my fault. I missed it."

[prettyballsy]

"Harry what are you..."

And that was when it hit him. He went still, staring at the other man for a long moment.

"Don't do that. You didn't throw him on that grenade then, didcha? Don't you dare, Harry Hart. He wouldn't wantcha do and I don't either," he said, staring at him dead on, serious. "Shit happens, and he mighta died to, and then I wouldn't have either of you."

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry looked up, pushing down the emotions, but they were still there in his eye, as he remembered and relived the memory all over again.

"No. He did it himself, to save us. I always said he was more Kingsman material than any of us. James... took it hard. He didn't want to win the position of Lancelot like that."

[prettyballsy]

"Harry." He considered things then he shifted, not stopping himself as he reached out, cupping Harry's cheek. "He wouldn't want you to believe yourself at fault," he murmured. "And I don't think you need it, but you're forgiven. I'm the one to give that forgiveness, right? Well, I'm giving it."

[fucking_gentleman]

"It isn't belief. I should have seen the grenade."

No. He wasn't. Because he'd forgive Harry to shooting him in both legs. Michelle had screamed and cried and let their family fall to a man like Dean rather than call Harry for the favour he had promised her.

He looked up at Eggsy. "Thank you."

[prettyballsy]

"Even you make mistakes, Harry. It happens, and yeah people can die. How many years are you going to torture yourself for this with me sitting right here?" He asked, arcing a brow at him, meaning it.

"You don't got to thank me, Harry. I mean it. I'm not telling you that for you either. Not just for you. I'm sayin' it for me too."

He hadn't blamed Harry. Not like his mum had. Yet he had spent his entire life blaming a man he didn't know for being there that day, to the point of "using" him the day he'd gotten picked up. He couldn't know it would turn out like this.

[fucking_gentleman]

He didn't know if he'd beaten himself up for seventeen years over it. Had he? Or had he grieved, moved on and it was only so raw because he felt like he was remembering for the first time?

"James was always that little bit... reckless. Before that. After it. Why didn't he just wear his bloody glasses like he was meant to?"

[prettyballsy]

"Because they probably made him look like a geek," he said, smirking, trying to make Harry realize it was okay. "Maybe because... you know a lot say when it's your time, it doesn't matter what you do. Kentucky wasn't your time. That day was my dad's."

He barely remembered his dad, though he worshiped him in his own mind but it was easy to talk about him like this because he hadn't known him.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry nodded slightly. He didn't believe in God or fate, not really. Just decisions and consequences. He rested his hand on his eye and temple, sighing slightly. "Poor Alistair. Losing James so violently... we all know it could happen, but it rarely does."

[prettyballsy]

He nodded, shifting in to stroke his fingers along Harry's jaw on the other side. Just lightly touching him, just trying to reassure as best he could. "Are you going to worry about that here?" He asked it softly, knowing Harry couldn't answer yet because he didn't fully know but suddenly it made sense why before he had hidden how he apparently felt.

[fucking_gentleman]

"I... don't know. Things are very muddled in my mind. I know some things, but can't explain how. Others I think I should know, but don't. I can't remember Merlin's name, but I know I should. I can't picture my mother or father, but I can remember the portrait that hung over the fireplace in the country estate. I don't know where that estate is."

He pressed Eggsy's hand to his jaw.

[prettyballsy]

"Then don't worry about it," he said, meaning it, not looking away, meeting Harry's gaze. "One day at a time, Harry. One memory. That's all we can do. We. Okay? I'm not leavin' you to this again, and Merlin even admitted he was wrong," he said, hoping that might calm him as well. "Now, try and focus on here and now. No sense upsettin yourself again."

There was almost a pleading quality to his tones then, worried for Harry.

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry didn't like taking it one day at a time. He wanted it all now. Better now, remembering now, training now.

"I'm rather worried if I focus on here and now, you, us, that I'm going to try seducing again and I have given you my word on that."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy wouldn't like it either. He wouldn't be happy waiting, and he'd be fucking frustrated, and angry and he couldn't blame Harry for not being happy. Not at all.

Chuckling softly, he stroked his fingers along Harry's cheek. "And you know I want that," he said in a low voice, not hiding it when everyone paying attention - please don't be paying attention Merlin - knew. "And... maybe I get you want to be with me and did before but you didn't want me to know, and I need to make sure you don't regret that," he said in a low voice.

Then, leaning in, lightly brushing his lips against Harry's mouth.