For prettyballsy

[fucking_gentleman]

The alarm was sounded at eleven in the morning, the day after Eggsy visited.

The alarms should have gone off before then, but Harry had hacked the machines, pulling and stripping wires and looping the feedback back into itself so there was no sign that he was no longer connected.

He had borrowed clothes by picking his way through the hospital, acquiring one item after another, cards and pass codes and by the time he left, he was dressed and had loose cash, a pilfered phone from a wanker who refused to turn it off and said wanker's credit card, which he used to withdraw the maximum he could and then tossed.

With more CCTV than any other city in the world, he then vanished off the grid.

By the time Eggsy was brought in by Merlin at quarter past midday, Merlin was waiting for another ping from a new internet cafe, the various footage of Harry's escape running behind him, being analysed by technicians for any hints.

"He realised he'd been made and vanished from the last internet cafe in under two minutes. He was off the cameras again within five. You're being authorised to locate and bring in Galahad, before he becomes a target or, worse, gives himself a stroke."

Comments

[fucking_gentleman]

Harry rewarded the turning into it by pressing his hand to his cheek again.

"Apparently, even when I go back I'm required to either have a full time nurse or someone living with me and a nurse coming in during the day to check on me." He'd let that sit there for a while and have Eggsy mull it over. Maybe suggest on his own that he could do that. "Since I refuse to let Merlin plant cameras and monitors in my home."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy sighed, smiling at that.

Even if he fell silent for a long time, considering that. "That's why I didn't move in with my mum, for the cameras. Figured it was better for her and Daisy." He fell quiet then, considering how to ask without risking being turned down. Even if he wasn't sure he could be. Not with the touches, right?

"You know, a dog is good security." Not JB but still. "And if, you know, JB was assigned to guard your place, I would have to go with him."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Eggsy, I don't remember JB, but I do have the odd urge to laugh at that suggestion. I know JB is your dog, but not why I want to laugh."

He traced a fingertip around Eggsy's ear, wondering what it said about him that he was finding the curve so enthralling. "I have no cameras. I can't imagine I ever would have tolerated my personal life being recorded for the tech department."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy smiled then, because he did remember something, and that was always going to be a start. "He's a pug," he said, rolling his eyes. "I didn't know he wouldn't get bigger," he admitted, making another face.

Oh. Oh that was different! He made a soft whimpering sound, wincing and ducking his head back down against Harry's hip. "Sorry," he murmured. "Yeah well, my life is under his eye," he said, shrugging. It was a freedom he had given up to be a Kingsman. How he figured it. "And it's okay if the suggestion was laughable. I'm sure they can find someone to help you," he said, taking it wrong. Not because he wasn't entirely fully awake because he was sure he was misreading everything and making a fool of himself.

[fucking_gentleman]

"A pug." Of course. That was a fairly funny idea, a pug being successful at guarding anything.

"JB guardian anything is quite laughable. And if you want me to stop, you have but to say and I will." Otherwise he was going to keep doing what he was doing. "I do have a spare room, however. If you can live with my strange collection of butterflies."

[prettyballsy]

"He's a good dog," he said, meaning it. One of the best friends he had these days, outside of Roxy.

"What?" He frowned, deep, furrowing his brow. "Why would I want you to stop? Why'd you ask that?"

Still frowning, head canting slightly. "I thought you said it was laugha... Right. JB." He hoped. Damn but he was so nervous and he figured he was taking things wrong.

[fucking_gentleman]

"I'm sure he is. But a guard dog, pugs are not."

He kept up the touch. "You apologised. And since you did nothing wrong, I could only presume it was a discomfort statement." His thumb teased Eggsy's earlobe softly.

[prettyballsy]

He nodded just barely, knowing that was true. "Still, can tell it to Merlin and watch him scoff. It's a fun hobby I have." Knowing he could hear it now and might be listening.

"For the sound. I don't... I shouldn't..." He made a frustrated sound. "I shouldn't be takin' advantage of you."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Oh? You're taking advantage of me, are you?" It wasn't mocking, just said in a curious tone as he kept up his touching. "You terribly naughty boy."

[prettyballsy]

"Harry."

He groaned his name, closing his eyes. Dammit, did he have to say it like that?

"You don't know me. You know nothin' about me. When you remember yourself and me and all of it, you're not gonna be happy with me and..."

And he was already waiting for that shoe to drop as it was, without wanting to practically crawl into Harry's lap in that moment.

[fucking_gentleman]

"Let me tell you what I know about you."

He stroked a finger over Eggsy's eyebrow while he sorted his thoughts.

"You're young, in years but not in experience. You haven't had much luck with adults in your life or with guidance, probably until me. You work hard to be accepted and make me proud, but you never feel that you've done enough, that no one really believes you should be here because you don't believe you deserve to be here.

"You're loyal beyond sensibility and beyond the grave. You have tremendous respect for Merlin and Roxy, which is why you work so hard to not show any dint in your armour, but you're stung so hard by perceived rejection from them. And from me. You've had a candle in your heart for me for a long time, but I never gave any indication of interest in return. Or at least, not in a manner you recognised. You watched me die and you hurt like you'd been shot instead of me and now that I'm here, you're torn between begging forgiveness, shaking me for everything you went through and my leaving things unresolved between us and," he leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Begging me for something else entirely."

He leaned back. "How did I do?"

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy went silent, shifting only enough to easily look up at Harry. For maybe one of the few times in his life, he stayed so silent, so still. Listening, knowing that Harry had him pegged. Had him on things he never admitted, even to himself.

Those last words, whispered in his ear, Harry so close and talking about Eggsy's feelings, and desires and he was two seconds from bolting because he didn't know how to handle this. He had no fucking idea. All he had going for him was honesty.

"Not bad," he whispered. "Let..." He swallowed hard. "Let me fill in the gaps. My dad died when I was four. You broke the news to me and my mum. The bastard she fancies is an abusive fucker and I've handled everything I had to," he said, his voice still such a soft whisper. Not by choice but his throat was so tight he couldn't raise his voice.

"I don't do enough. I failed, Harry. I flunked out as your choice, proving them all right that a kid like me didn't belong here, and I still fight every day to prove I do." Even if to himself. "So I failed and I nicked your boss' car. You didn't live to learn he was working with the fucker that shot you," he said, staring up at Harry, his eyes bright.

"I'm not one of them and I figure they think about that all the time, even though they're the best people in my life. As for you? You never ever gave any interest. Not like that and the last things you said to me..." He shook his head. There had been so much but all he held to was disappointment in him.

"And I do want forgiveness, and I want you to remember so I don't set myself up because..."

He stopped then, shaking his head, knowing he was going to start fucking crying if he didn't shut up.

"So yeah, I'm takin' advantage of you because you don't remember all the bad stuff, just seein' the good."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Merlin failed too," Harry whispered.

He shouldn't tell him, but fuck it, the boy needed reassurance. He didn't remember the details, but Merlin was not a knight but had done training. He had, technically, failed.

He cupped Eggsy's face and kissed his brow very softly. His lips felt dry against the smoothness of his skin.

"Then I will respect that and not keep attempting to seduce you. Not until such time as I remember much more about myself and about us. But when I do, I am going to resume my seduction until you either tell me to stop or give in. All right?"

[prettyballsy]

It was nothing that Eggsy had left himself think about. Merlin was Merlin. That was it. He figured he had applied for the job and been given it. Not that he had been meant to be an agent like the rest of them.

So with that kiss, those soft words, he moved to sit up. Wriggling to sit cross legged beside Harry, facing him, even as he reached for his hand.

"This is the hardest fucking thing I've ever done, and I survived all of Kingsman training and kind of helped save the world," he said, not playing it up. It took the three of them or it wouldn't have happened. "And when you remember, if you want to? Not a force in this damn world could make me say no, Harry," he said, staring into his face, into his singular eye. "But when the time comes, and you realize this is your head playin' tricks and nothin' more? It's going to be okay. No worries."

Because he couldn't help but believe that was the truth. When Harry remembered, he'd put on the brakes so fast Eggsy's head would spin. "But know this has meant the world to me, Harry. Thank you."

[fucking_gentleman]

"Whatever idiotic reasons my former self had for his reluctance, it was not a lack of attraction or interest." Because he wouldn't have so instantly developed the feelings he had, had they not been there previously.

He let Eggsy take his hand, though it trembled gently in his grip, an involuntary tremor that he may never get rid of. His other hand was rock steady on his knee. "When I remember, and you are confident in my affections, I am going to take you to my bed and make you scream so hard, you won't have a voice the next day," he promised.

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy hadn't a clue, and he hadn't quite put that together. Harry was too insistent, too positive and determined about so much, for him to feel this just from the couple of times they had talked. Yet it was easier, in his own guilt, to believe this was his projection and nothing more.

And then Harry was saying things to him that he hadn't let himself imagine, and images sprung to his mind he couldn't get rid of. On his knees, cheek on the mattress, taken, claimed, fucking owned by the man he'd fancied and only realized how much he cared after he'd lost him.

"Fucking hell, Harry," he groaned, closing his eyes tight. It didn't help to get rid of them image. In fact only making it more vibrant. "That's not even fucking fair."

[fucking_gentleman]

"I promised to respect your decision, not to be fair." He leaned in, almost pressing their cheek together for he could whisper into his ear again. "I will not seduce you until I remember what happened between us in further clarity. Until you're confident that I am not being taken advantage of. But I will be enjoying the thought of what we may eventually do together in the privacy of my own room."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy shifted just that little bit, brushing his cheek against Harry's. Closing his eyes, wanting this to be real, that Harry wouldn't change his mind when he remembered his place at Kingsman and why Eggsy had seen no sign of this before.

"You've got no idea how much I hope you still feel this way then," he whispered, turning his head and brushing his lips against Harry's cheek. But given he had seen no sign of this, that it had all felt so one sided, he wasn't sure there would ever be more than this. "But thank you for this, Harry. Thank you."

[fucking_gentleman]

"My dear boy, if you asked me to move the Earth's axis to make you sure, I would find a way to do it." He leaned back with a last inhale, looking at Eggsy. "But since all you require of me is a substantial portion of my memory back, I'll work on that instead."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy sighed, fighting the urge to lean into him. "You never... It's different, and wanted and ..." And dammit but he was having trouble with words. "I just have to be sure, Harry. For you."

And he truly felt that Harry would change his feelings when he did remember. Not that his feelings would change, but that how he wanted to act as a Kingsman would.

[fucking_gentleman]

"I know you do." Gave Eggsy's face a fond touch. "Now, you're rested and should think about getting dressed and getting some food. While I am going to have a wash to get rid of all this tape residue and the like."

[prettyballsy]

Wriggling to slide off the bed, he paused and leaning down, kissing Harry's cheek again.

"Don't push yourself too hard. I swear I'll order JB to sit on your chest and make you rest," He said, meaning it. He would do it, Harry! Don't push him.

[fucking_gentleman]

"I have a seat for in the shower and a hand held head to keep my bandages dry, though honestly, they need to put on water proof dressings and let me wash my hair, it's becoming positively rank."

It wasn't that bad, but it certainly wasn't up to his usually exacting standards of cleanliness.

"You should bring JB to visit. I can look after him while you work."

[prettyballsy]

Eggsy reached out, brushing his fingers through Harry's hair. "I think it's fine," he said, meaning it. But then they both knew he was biased.

Smiling he gave a nod. "I'll bring him around after I grab some food and get a clean suit. I should see Merlin at some point before he comes in here and drags me out by my ear," he admitted, chuckling.

[fucking_gentleman]

"You should. Go, dress, food, drop off JB and go see Merlin. I'm not going to go anywhere except to my en suite."